Monday, August 25, 2014

The night my forever changed.

The years of 2001 into 2002 were by far the hardest times of my life. But even through that indescribable pain and heartache my greatest gifts and blessing came. Here is my story of redemption. 

Olivet Michigan Conjugation Church

I saw a glimpse of Jesus for the first time while I was living in a small town in Michigan at the age of nineteen. My own abuse had just came out and I didn’t believe that I was ready to have it spilled all over for everyone to see. I felt so exposed, judged and unwanted. 

I wasn't searching for God at this time in my life, or at least I didn't think that I was. While growing up, I always knew there was a God, I just didn't know Him and had no understanding of who He was.

The night that changed it all for me!

It was a Thursday night in December, it was cold and I was hanging out at a house that was full of other people like me; lost, intoxicated and just trying to dull whatever pain we were currently facing all while pretending we were enjoying life. I left the the house stumbling and completely intoxicated. I was walking home and heard live music coming from a church as I was passing by. What caused me to stop and go in, I can only assume was God. I walked in and sat in the back of this large, beautiful, old style church building. On the stage was a group of collage students, performing the most beautiful songs of worship done through a style of hip hop music. It is amusing to me now, because this church is a very conservative church, not one that you would typically see or hear hip hop worship coming from. That is what’s awesome about God, He isn't concerned with all the laws, rules, and logistics that people have in place. He is concerned with the hearts of His children and that night, one of His children was lost and broken and He knew just what would reach her heart. I didn’t talk to anyone that night, I just watched and listened then slipped away unnoticed. So I went back the next Thursday, but this time it wasn’t hip hop, it was a youth worship night that lead by a different group of collage students. I almost didn’t stay because there were more people and many familiar faces sitting in the seats. I sat in the back again unaware that the people singing on the stage would be used to change the course of my life in a dramatic way.

There were three people on that stage that Thursday night in December that chose to come down and love in a real, messy and up close and personal way. It would have been easier to go home and ignore the mess that walked into their lives that night but they didn’t and because of that, I met God through these people. They quickly met me and loved me exactly where I was, a complete mess with a lot of baggage. They walked with my cousin and I through the abuse and the trail of our abuser. They chose to act in love and through that love I saw and met Christ. My forever has changed, largely in part to them. I began to see God in a radically and freeing way and it was something I wanted. I wanted Him more than drugs, more than the lies I hid behind, more than the fear of letting people into my real self. I wanted more, I craved more and He continually opened my eyes and heart to Himself.

God has used many people since that night in December to help me in being able to see His vision for my life. I belong to a church family here in Arizona that no matter where God takes me through this life, the people of that body will always be my home, my base of faith and my spiritual support.

It's mind blowing to me how awesome God created our bodies. The mind is capable of regenerating and fixing itself if given the proper nutrients. The heart under normal circumstances, will never rest, sleep or take time off, it will work every second of every minute you are alive. Think about your body and how it can heal a deep and open wound completely on its own.To me it is crazy the details God put into each and every part of your body when he was designing it. He made your body amazing and completely capable of surviving even in the worst of circumstances, he has done this because He cares and loves about the details of your life, every last detail.

This same God also made your soul which is something that never ends, it will never die. Your soul one day, will leave this earth and go to eternity, and he desperately wants it to be with him. Jesus chose to die a horrific and painful death on the cross so you can have that opportunity to enjoy eternity with him. He is the maker of both body and soul and is greatly concerned with the health of both. He will go to great length to reach you and reveal himself to you. Just remember he created every hair on your head and He supplies every breath you will ever take. He is not an angry Father like so many of us have grown to believe or one that is unapproachable. He is always waiting with arms wide open for you to fall into his arms, which are the safest and strongest you will ever know. His love is pure and the most genuine, there is none like it. God adores you and smiles with just the thought of your name, he didn’t cause your abuse, or desire for it to happen for his greater good or purpose. He wept along side you, He held you in His arms as you laid there alone at night, remember He gave us all free will and your abuser used his freedom very wrongly. God's purpose for you is so much bigger than you can even imagine. Seek Him today and He will gladly give you the desires of your heart. He is the game changer you have been praying for!