Saturday, June 30, 2012
How do we view ourselves?
Do you believe that God has more for you than what you feel you deserve? I know I haven’t always believed that. Growing up, I was the one that always had low self esteem; I would lie, hide behind a tough exterior, and I would do stuff I didn't really want to do. I did all of this as an attempt to be liked. I was constantly the first person to insult myself; whether about my past, my education level, my parenting style, you name it I would demean myself in that area. I believe I did that to protect myself. If I insulted myself first, I would beat others to the punch. Over the past year I have became very aware of this issue; I am more confident about myself then I tend to let on. I really am a confident parent. I know I love to write and have a lot to give. Sometimes, I think we desire to hide within our past to be safe. The past can be a very comfortable place to reside. The past is where we all have made mistakes and where we already know what the outcomes are. The present can be scary. The present is like jumping out of a plane. You have to have faith that the parachute will work and as you land, your legs will be strong enough to hold up. As I become more of who God made me to be, I also become more in love with Him for patiently waiting for me to see myself as He sees me. God has plans for all of us. For those of us that have been abused it was not His will for it to happen. I believe He gave us all free will and our predators used their freedom very wrongly .He was weeping alongside of us. He will use our pains to help others. He will give us a voice that was stolen from us and will be our biggest supporter. The pain I went through was not in vain and that, for me today, is the most amazing, heart wrenching feeling I have ever experienced. I am learning that we can’t rush healing. The journey Jesus takes us on is all part of that healing and we must learn to enjoy every victory; learn from every sorrow.