Being authentic

Being authentic can be a challenge when you have spent most of your life playing pretend. Do you ever feel like this? I know most of my life I was playing pretend and I hear the same thing often from other abuse survivors. For me, to be transparent and authentic can still at times be challenging. However, I desire to be 100% real and transparent with my emotions, my past and my day to day life.  I know for me it is so much easier to be open and share my heart with another person that is transparent, real and shows vulnerability. People that are transparent tend to have a much more inviting personality when they show their vulnerabilities.  Let me ask you a question, have you ever been around someone that's being transparent and vulnerable with sharing their struggles and pain? Now, after they are finished do you ever think, wow,  this person is weak and full of drama or do you ever find yourself laughing at their vulnerability. I am sure the answer to all the above questions would be of course not. Its so much easier to love and extend grace to people that are vulnerable. I can't expect to follow my heart of helping other people in finding their worth or to speak truth into other peoples lives, if I myself still walk in lies. Now don't get me wrong I am a million miles further than where I first started. Writing The Ticket for me was huge in the process of being more transparent.  Also, this blog which is often my thoughts and feeling of what is currently on my heart. It can be scary to put your heart and emotion out for people to read. I often talk about my past with being sexually abuse and the long healing journey that has came with it. I know that the writings I put on here anyone can read, including the man that caused all the pain to begin with. That has at times made me question what I should or shouldn't write on here but than I still wouldn't be allowing myself to be authentic. I challenge you this week, to be vulnerable, to say what you really feel while letting people into your life, even the messy parts. You might be surprised at the love and grace you receive and you never know it might just be the very thing that has been holding you back.