Sharing my past with my daughter

When I started writing The Ticket, my oldest child which just so happens to be my daughter and my mini-me, would frequently ask me why I wrote a book about such a sad thing. The usual response was, “My heart is very heavy for children that have been hurt deeply by adults in their life.”  That sentence seemed to hold off the inevitable conversation.The conversation I had always told myself she was just to young to know, but the truth is, I was just not ready to share that part of myself with this perfectly intact little girl. 

In our home, it’s a normal conversation for us to talk about modesty, the sacredness of their little bodies, and the appropriate behavior of trusted and non trusted adults. My children are comfortable with using correct body part names and talking about their bodies and what they feel is appropriate. I have never shied away from educating them in healthy and age appropriate ways about their own bodies. Even still, I knew this conversation would be different, it wasn’t just telling her there are some bad people in this world that hurt children, it would be telling her that one of these bad people not only is real, but existed in our own family and that he hurt her mom in horrible ways. I struggled with wanting to keep her young longer and not having to bring her into the sadness that does exist in this world.

This past week, I was writing in my office, when my daughter came in to see what I was doing. While sitting next to me she asked me what I was writing about. I told her, “I am writing about the courage and strength that a lot of amazing people have.”  Suddenly, I knew it was coming. I could see it in her eyes, the question that my heart knew was time to talk about with her. She asked me a similar question to what she has asked before, but this time I responded with “I write about this topic because I was one of these children.” I looked calm and spoke softly but my heart was racing. I thought telling her would be nearly as hard as talking about it had been when my abuse was first exposed. My daughter’s first response was asking me if it hurt? I told her that it hurt my heart much worse than it hurt my body, but yes, it did hurt. She asked a few more simple questions that I was able to answer, then she went on her way. A few hours later as I was cooking dinner she walked into the kitchen, hugged me and said, “I am sorry that happened to you." I responded with, “me too”, and then she was off playing again.

That was it, it was all she needed to know and all I needed to hear. The simple words that she spoke meant so much to me. I also realized telling her wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. She is an amazing young lady and I am so blessed to be her mom.

Compassion

What would happen if we could see into other people's hearts and see their struggles and their insecurities, would we treat them differently? Would we extend more grace, compassion or patience to them? My guess is yes, I think we all would. Yet, so often we judge, and assume how someone should be, act or deal with their life. A life we truly have no understanding of because it's one we haven't walked through. How often do we pass by the mother with young children in a store that is overwhelmed just to leave her feeling as if all eyes are on her in judgement? How often do we judge the man on the corner that is completely intoxicated while asking for money? You may even have a coworker that is angry, always late and makes your job that much harder, we need to remember each person has a story and a past and some of these people have stories that most of us couldn’t even imagine walking through. I challenge each of us to extend love to all the people in our lives. Whether they are family, friends, a coworker or a stranger passing by in a store, let's chose to love them as though we know they are carrying a few heavy burdens because we all are. No one is exempt from life's burdens, even the people that want you to believe their world is perfect. I often think these people probably need love more then the transparent person you can see is filled with pain. So, lets be intentional with every person we encounter today. There are no accidents, each person was placed there for a reason and we have something to give to them, so lets give. 

Hug the hurt, kiss the broken, befriend the lost, and love the lonely ~ Author Unknown

Simple reminders

This is my daughter, writing her own "book," is there a sweeter compliment than your child desiring to be like you? This picture is a kind reminder that even though my voice at times has shaken, choosing to stay silent could never have been an option and facing my past in order to heal was worth it all. I love reminders that God really does turn beauty from ashes, while turning our messes into messages and our trials into God size triumphs.

Lets all become unstoppable

The biggest lie we have told ourselves and many of us have lived out in believing, is that we have limited our  potential and diminished who we know we truly are. We all have that inner dream, calling, and passion. I know I always did, but I diminished my potential and passions out of fear. I have slowly come to realize that we can't be afraid of what some might think, because they will throw judgement at us regardless if thats their heart. We all have walked through a road and journey that is unique and customized to us. We all have gifts, talents, and what a injustice we are doing to this world if we are not authentic with what we have been given. We were created to impact the world! Do we truly believe that? The world? You are so unique that no one else can do what you were placed here to do. Follow what you are passionate about, it was placed there for a reason. You  will get the most fulfillment by pursuing that calling! Can you imagine a world of people all following their hearts and callings? Powerful! Unstoppable!